Choosing Fatherhood

“We went from something is missing to a family.”

A single mom went out on a date, and wondered how things would go. Her son was at home. The mom and the man she was dating hit it off, and a relationship led to a marriage proposal. She said yes, and the two were married. For the man, he suddenly became a husband and a dad. The man chose to fall in love with both the mom and son.

A girl finds herself yanked from everything she knows because of decisions others made. Their decisions placed her in danger, so she needed a new home. Frightened and young, she found warmth and love in the home of a couple who did not have kids, but lots of love to give. The husband suddenly became a dad.

Some become dads and have 9 months to prepare, while others take on the challenge of fatherhood almost instantly. Their new bride already has a child or they accept the call to become a foster home. They take on the challenge of fatherhood with grace and love.

Happy Father’s Day to all the dads that didn’t have to be. Thank you for the influence you are having on your child’s life.

waterfall in the forest

Parenting is Overwhelming

Moses’ parents experienced the struggles of parenting.

Moses’ parents were up against it. They were living at a time Pharaoh had decided the Israelites should have no more boys. The decree was for all newborn Israelite boys to be killed, but Moses’ parents ignored it. They kept Moses hidden for 3 months, and as his parents, they had to make some hard choices to protect his life.

The Bible says Moses’ parents placed him in a basket and floated it down the Nile. Moses is found and adopted by Pharaoh’s daughter. The Lord’s care and Moses’ parents’ choices put him on a path to fulfill his destiny. He became a great leader for Israel. It all started when Moses’ parents had to make some hard choices.

Parenting is consuming.

Parenting is hard; it can be overwhelming. Moses’ mom and dad faced much adversity when he was born. There was the decree, they had a newborn needing care, and they had to keep him hidden. I would not want to be in their situation, but it does illustrate how consuming parenting can be.

As parents, you and I are trusted with a life. This person for whom we are responsible has a purpose, so we don’t want to mess up. Adding to the stress is the fact part of our purpose is to help our child fulfill his or her purpose, so we don’t want to mess up.

Parenting is hard. We worry about everything. Are we too strict? Are we too lenient? Is our child growing and learning fast enough? Is our child growing and learning too fast? When something happens, we worry the opposite should be happening. Parenting is hard.

It can be overwhelming as we worry about everything, but we need to remember as much as we love our kids, God loves them more. As much as we want what is best for our kids, God wants it more, so we should rely on the Lord to guide us in the overwhelming task of parenting.

Lamentations 2:19 encourages, “Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord. Lift up your hands to him in prayer pleading for your children….”

No matter the situation, when our kids are hurting, we want to come to the rescue. It is easy to bandage a sore and offer a hug, but when the situation becomes more advanced, rescue becomes more difficult. It might even reach a point where we must follow the example of Moses’ parents. Pray and trust the Lord.

The hard choice of floating Moses down the Nile was made in faith. Hebrews 11 says it was by faith Moses’ parents made their decisions. They knew the Lord gave them a child, and the Lord would care for him.

In Fearless, Max Lucado reminds us that before our kids were ours, they belonged to God. And, even as they are our children, they still belong to God. All people are God’s people, even the little people residing in our home. God shares in our desire to do something when our kids are hurting.

Moses parents trusted the Lord with their child. They had reached a point where they were powerless. There was nothing more for them to do than trust the Lord. They were not the only parents who have reached this point.

  • In Matthew 15, a Canaanite mother came to Jesus pleading for help. Her daughter was plagued by an evil spirit. The disciples tried to ignore her, but Jesus didn’t. He heard her pleas, and he provided relief for her daughter.
  • Mark 9 records a boy had been struggling since he was young. The child was possessed by an evil spirit causing much havoc. The boy’s father came first to the disciples, then to Jesus pleading for help. The disciples couldn’t do anything, but Jesus could. Jesus heard the father’s plea for assistance, and he provided an answer.
  • Jairus, in Mark 5, came to Jesus passionately pleading for Jesus to heal his sick daughter. There were individuals who said it was too late. Nothing could be done to heal the girl, but Jesus still did something. Jesus heard the father’s plea and healed her.

When we have reached the end of our rope and there is nothing more we can do for our child, we can pray and trust the Lord. In the doctor’s office, in the hospital room, in the recovery center, in the moments when we see disaster looming, we can pray and trust the Lord. He is fond of our kids, and he wants what is best for them.

I must pause for a moment and say I’ve not experienced every emotion a parent may feel. You, as a parent, may be navigating through overwhelming circumstances I have not experienced, so I am not claiming to have all the answers. I’m only desiring to point you toward a resource. As you are amid overwhelming situations, I hope you are doing okay, and offer the Lord as a guiding resource.

Seek the Lord’s guidance.

Lucado goes on in fearless to tell us God has a heart for hurting parents. After all, he’s a parent too. He understands the overwhelming emotion of being a parent. His child was beaten, mocked, and even died. He was separated from his child. He gets the pain and agony that comes from being a hurting parent.

So, as a parent, take advantage of the resource of prayer.

  • As your child leaves the house, send him or her away with a prayer.
  • As you put your child to bed, cover him or her with prayer.
  • As your child struggles with life, pray with and for him or her.
  • Pray he or she develops a hopeful confidence in this life and an eternal home in the next.

And remember, even when your child is not safe in your arms, he or she is safe in the Lord’s arms.

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